The Battle Rages On

I've said it before and I'll say it again…Parenting is full of little victories which can seem like you have just climbed Mt Kilimanjaro. It is no secret that we have had issues with Jack and nighttime. First it was colic which went away on it's own. Then it was his flailing which was solved with swaddling. Unfortunately the swaddling didn't last long because within a few weeks Jack was well on his way to mastering rolling every which way and shortly thereafter he discovered (on his own) that he best enjoys sleeping on his stomach (this freaked me out for the first few nights but I knew there really wasn't anything I could do to stop him).

And now we have moved into a whole new nighttime issue…Teaching Jack to put himself to sleep.

For the LONGEST time, actually about 16 weeks to be exact, Jack has woken up several times during the night. Whether it's to eat or that his sleep cycle has ended and he can't fall back asleep without some assitance from me or J, he's up ALOT. In fact he has gone four hours of nonstop sleep exactly once. I like to think that if there is some kind of higher power out there, he or she decided to give me Jack, our 'high needs baby', because he or she thought I could handle the challenge ;). Whatever the reasons, I wouldn't trade Jack for anything.

So I have been reading and reading and we have been trying to figure out what tactic works for US. We started our nighttime routine before Jack was 2 months old and it included a nightly bath and then I would nurse him to sleep. After that I would let him take the lead and he would determine when he ate which was usually frequent and not very long. First I learned that Jack does not need to eat every time he wakes up. Yes, he would totally take the boob every time and eat for a few minutes but he doesn't NEED it. Several people suggested I start him on rice cereal early but I really wanted to hold off until he was at least 4 months and I do believe he is getting enough through my breast milk.

There was a very long period that I was the only one getting up with Jack at night and the easiest thing for me to do calm him is pop a boob in his mouth but I soon realized that was not a good long term solution and if I was ever going to sleep again, it was time for Daddy to get involved. So I imposed our first nighttime rule, I would only go into feed him every 3 hours, every other waking or time he needed soothing it was up to Daddy. This was working great while we were still able to swaddle him but when we had to take away the baby burrito things got a little hairy again.

We start bedtime between 7 and 7:30. It was bath, book from daddy, and then boob. Great, he would fall right to sleep! And then he was up every 5 minutes screaming. J would be up and down the stairs at least 6 or 7 times in an hour and spend anywhere from 2 to 15 minutes trying to get Jack back down. Needless to say it was frustrating for both of us.

In my reading, I learned that at 4 months babies start to become more aware of their surrounding and they are capable of taking that first step towards independence…or self soothing. I had known for awhile that I was giving Jack until 4 months to be a newborn and he was in charge of calling the shots but after that it was time for us to start working together. Well he is one week shy of 4 months and we are taking the first steps into self soothing.

I have never been a fan of the 'cry it out' method and I know that this would be an absoulte last resort for us. But I do beleive he is at the point where he can and needs to learn to put himself to sleep. So we changed up the bedtime routine several days ago to boob, bath, book, bed. By eating first, I know that he is not hungry when he goes down and therefore he not relying on me to fall asleep. We do bath time together and then Daddy does book and bed. Jack is then put in bed awake. The first night it took J almost an hour of screaming before he finally fell asleep. He lets Jack cry or wine for a few mintues but if he gets overly worked up J will pick him up and try to calm him. However the last two nights we have put Jack down awake, he has cried for 4 minutes and then went to sleep. For his late night wakings we have been giving him 5 minutes to try and put himself back to sleep and we have a had great progress. It is a hard 5 minutes for Mommy and Daddy but we know that he is safe and not hungry…he just needs to know that when he wakes up every thing is ok and that he can fall back asleep alone.

I time it out and if wakes up and it's been 3 hours since his last feeding I will go in and nurse him (that will be then next issue to address). Last night I went in at 4:40. He nursed for about 5 minutes, broke his latch to change him (which he did without screaming!), tried to feed him some more but he had no interest and laid him back in his crib wide awake and smiling. As I walked back to our room I was anticpating a fight from him. I watched him on our video montior and within 10 minutes of rolling around and talking to himself he was asleep!!! He didn't wake up again until 7:15!!!


Daddy and Jack napping

This precarious nighttime dance we have going on in the Voigts' home may sound like a nightmare to many but I consider last night a HUGE victory! He put himself back down 3 times….amazing! I have no expectations of Jack sleeping 10 hours straight, or even 6 hours, anytime soon and I am totally ok with that. We just don't want to have to have him waking every 5 minutes and needing our help to go back to sleep. Baby steps. I know it will all work itself out someday….I'm just hopeful that the next baby is a bit easier in this department ;).

With all that said….WOW Jack is almost 4 months old!!!



Lindsey

Crazy Eyes!

We discovered Jack's "Crazy Eyes" a few months ago when we would walk into a dark room. Thankful he still does it from time to time and we were able to get it on video. If anything it will give you a good laugh and embarrass the hell out of him in about 15 years ;)




I also captured it on film…He makes me smile!



Lindsey

This post is long overdue….

We got a new video camera a few weeks ago and I still trying to figure out how to edit in iMovie, so pardon the length in video until I get that mastered!

When we were back in IL over Memorial Day, Jack started rolling from his belly to his back. Justin came into the kitchen and asked me when Jack started to roll and I said he wasn't yet. Well, he made a liar out of me that day! About a week later he started to roll from his back to his belly also. I was able to catch the first time he made a full circle on video. Enjoy!




Lindsey

Hitting Pause

As I rocked my little boy to sleep tonight, I got a little teary eyed. Jack is 3 months today and as challenging as these 3 months have been I realized tonight that I can never get them back and someday (all too soon I fear) I will miss these innocent nights rocking my boy to sleep. As much as I dread getting up at 3 am, I know I will look back at this time and remember our nights together sitting in his dimly lit nursery listening to the waves crash.

I wanted to rush through pregnancy with lighting speed but now that Jack is here I just want to hit pause and enjoy these days a little longer, make the hours go a little slower.

Happy 3 months Jack! I love you more than you will ever know and I feel so lucky to have a front row seat in your journey through life.

WE SURVIVED :)

Greetings from Illinois. We have had a very busy week so far but I will talk more about our trip next time.



I wanted to be sure and write today because Jack hit 12 weeks old and this seems like a pretty big milestone for me. I remember at 4 weeks, Jack was hitting the early stage of his colic and I was beyond hormonal and extremely sleep deprived. In the reading I did, everything said that babies usually grow out of colic by 12 weeks and I remeber having a break down because I swore there was no way I would survive the next 8 weeks. I KNEW he would grow out of it at some point but every ounce of my sanity was being tested and I didn't know how I was going get through this very difficult time. But as I have learned in my 12 weeks of motherhood....you just get through the tough times and find strength and patience you never knew you had.




So Jack is 12 weeks and WE SURVIVED!

Life with our little man has changed so much and he is an absoulte joy. He is smiling like crazy. He seems to have really found his voice over the last 3 days as he will have random bouts of screeching and squealing. It makes me laugh to hear his newfound talents. He has pretty much mastered head and neck control and he LOVES to "stand"...he's a strong little nugget. Jack really enjoys laying on his play mat and he is getting really good at reaching up and grabbing toys hanging above his head. I can't believe how much he has change over the last 3 weeks.




Jack is on a 2-3 hour cycle during the day of sleep-eat-play and at night he is getting 3-4 hours at a time. The nighttime routine has been key over the last week of being away from home. Between 8 and 9, I keep an eye out for sleepy signals then it's time for bath, swaddle, nurse if he's hungry and if he's not I still put him down. He has done so well at "putting himself to sleep". If he's not interested in nursing before bed, I can put him to bed awake and without any fuss he will lay in bed until he falls asleep.




It amazes me to realize how far we have come. As I said, there was a time when I never imaged I would make it to 12 weeks post partum but we are here and life is great. I also realized the other day that this would be the time I would return to work and Jack would head to daycare. I am SO thankful that I am luckiy enough to be able to stay home with him and any other children we may have. Thank you J for giving me this opportunity.

No we are NOT gun fanatics, inside joke ;)

.

I couldn't be any more proud of the family we are becoming...

Lindsey

SWADDLE!!!

(This was written a week ago and I forgot to publish it...this seems to be happening a lot these days :)).

Ok I think we MAY have found the answer to Jack's nighttime sleep issue….reintroducing the full body swaddle! A friend of mine suggested this to me and I have been willing to try just about anything. The first night we was not happy having his arms pinned down in straight jacket style, night 2 I put him down at 9 pm and he managed to fall asleep on his own and only woke up 3 times (seems like a lot to some people, this was amazing for us!), and night 3 he went to be at 8:15 pm and didn't wake up until 12:45 am!!! Again some people may not be impressed with this but I was ECSTATIC :)



I think Jack is a light sleeper like his Mama and without the swaddle his arms were free to flail around and wake him up. Bringing back the "baby burrito" may be the solution to my nighttime aggravation. Fingers crossed….

Tomorrow morning Jack and I are taking a big step in our relationship…we are getting on an airplane for our first trip together. We are heading back to IL to visit family and Justin will be flying in a few days later. Deep down, I am freaking out. I absolutely hate flying and the addition stress of flying with Jack by myself just might send me over the edge…thank god for Xanax! Wish us luck!

Breaking in the Nursery

Last night was night #2 of Jack sleeping in his own room, night #1 in his "big boy bed". All in all it went well. He had no issues with the new bed (he has been sleeping in a small pack n' play in our room) and didn't seem to notice that he was in a new room. Mommy on the other hand had some issues that first night. I confess, I cried. The thought of having my little boy so far away broke my heart a little but deep down I know it's time because I couldn't go on with the old situation.

Basically for the past 10 weeks Jack has been up every hour or two at night to eat. There has been 1 time when he slept for 4 hours between feeding and a handful of times when he has gone 3 hours. Every night, Jack and I have been doing the same dance and by 3 am I am ready to pull my hair out. I have gotten much better at handling the sleep deprivation during the daytime but I can't go on like this forever so it was time to try something new.

Our pediatrician told us at his 2 month appointment that Jack should be going 3 or 4 hours (or even more) between feedings, when I told him he wasn't even close to that he suggested moving Jack into his own room. In his own room he isn't woken up by us and he can't smell me. So I finally decided it was time.

First night I got up with him alone which was every hour or two and he fed every time…by 5 am he was in our bed so I didn't have to make the long walk to his room anymore.

Day 2, I did some research and learned about nighttime weaning. Which makes perfect sense to me because at half of his nighttime feedings he's only on for a few minutes before he's asleep again. So last night Justin joined the ranks and we made it a group effort. From bedtime (@9:30) to his first feeding he went 3 hours! But then from midnight to 6 am he was up 5 times. I got up with him every other time so that he was only eating every 2.5-3 hours and J got up with him the other times to put him back to sleep.

Ok so granted he was still "awake" every 1 or 2 hours but not having to get up and feed him every time makes me feel like there is hope. I do feel a little bad having J get up but I'm afraid if Jack smells me he will want to feed every time….and let's face it, parenting is all about teamwork ;). Luckily, it seems like J only has to be up with him a few minutes before Jack is out again.

Overall, I feel good about this move. It has to get better….right?!



Lindsey