The Aster

And so we began to do our time at The Aster.  

J thought we could do it for years.  I was less optomisic about our tight quarters but thought we could last the six or seven months until the house was completed.

We lasted two months.

There were several times I thought about getting in my car and just driving away (not forever but maybe a few months).  I KNOW it's possible for two adults, two small children (and all of their crap) and two dogs to live in a two bedroom apartment but we found it quite difficult to go from over 3000 sq ft to 947 sq ft.  It was horrible.  The time we spent in that apartment was almost right up there with suffering through all of the showings at the last house.

The boys had to share a room for the first time which also doubled as the "play" space because the living room and kitchen were one space (which as I look around now, my masterbedroom basically equates to the communal living space in that apartment) and there was no dining area at all.

The last two weeks we were there Jack was sleeping with us (see exhibit 1 and 2 below) because Leo still wasn't sleeping through the night and was waking up Jack.  It is truly amazing how this little boy could spin a full 360 degrees throughout the night.  No judgement to others but we don't do the co-sleeping thing in our house.

September 2014, the universe finally cut us some slack...a three bedroom townhouse became available at same complex so in order to save our sanity and our marriage, we moved (AGAIN).

While the townhouse was not the answer to all of our problems, it was exactly what we needed to get us through our limbo.  There was 3 bedrooms, 2 levels, a tiny kitchen, a place for a sofa/TV, even space for a card table to eat at and an attached garage.  We lived on a courtyard with a little playground right out our front door.  There were tons of families (many waiting for their homes to be built as well) with kids in the 2-8 year range and everyone was super nice.  If fact we made couple of really good friends while living there as did Jack.

It was absolutely perfect for the boys.  In fact, part of me knew that I would be sad to leave purgatory just for the social factor and the convenience of opening the door to let Jack out to play with all the kids.

The hardest part for me was my inability to keep the place clean and organized for more than an hour.  I am a stay-at-home-mom.  My house is my "office" and since I spend so much time in it, I prefer my home to be clean and orderly.  In my mind everything item has a "home" and that is where it should go.  I realize with kids that is an outlandish concept but not entirely impossible.  However, I quickly discovered I was fighting a losing battle in the townhouse and I needed to lower my expectations.

We tried to keep ourselves busy.  The boys and I went to Illinois for Labor Day, there was a trip to Florida in October, back to Illinois for Christmas and a few long weekends away in the mountains in the new year.  Having things to look forward to helped to make the time go faster and offered a distraction for our anticipation.

The new house was within a mile of the apartment so just about everyday I would drive by to see the progress.  It was very exciting to see it all come together.  Our time at The Aster went relatively quick until the last month, then the walls started to close in on me.  It was hard to pack the minimal amount of stuff we had in advance and I felt like a in a holding pattern surrounded by half empty boxes. (The photo below was of Jack's room and a packing area.  If you know me, you know this mess sends my anxiety through the roof.)

While updating the blog, I have been looking through all of my old pictures.  I take a lot of pictures...or at least I did.  During this time, I clearly needed a distraction so I remember that I was really working on my photography and trying to teach myself new things.  I am far from a professional but looking at these photos reminds me that I need to pick up the damn camera again.

Trip to Illinois over Labor Day 2014
- Boys saw their first Theresermans Parade, Jack visited the farm and rode in a tractor the first time

October 2014- Longboat Key, FL.  I could have an entire post of just pictures.  My "happy place" always turns lots of great photos.)

Fall 2014

Christmas 2014- Traveled back to Illinois to make the family rounds.  This trip exhausting at the time but I think that years and years of having to divide our holidays three ways has become the norm in my sub conscience   The off years when we stay in Colorado for Christmas or Thanksgiving always seem too quiet and anticlimactic.

And last but never least, our sweet boy, Leo took his first steps in December 2014!

Lindsey

The Last 15 Months...

...Have been tough. (This was written in the Fall of 2014.)

So long story, (kind of) short...Novemeber 2013 we decided to build a new house.  We had several reasons which at the time sounded reasonable.  We put our house on the market in early November.  By mid January, we had had over 50 showings.  Yes I said 50+ showings...if you have ever sold your home you know that is a TON.  Mind you, during this time, I had a brand new baby.  

Every day for 10 or so weeks I had to keep my house spotless and relatively toy free.  Most showings were the same day as the request was made and often times within an hour or two.  For 10 weeks, I had rush to get the house in show condition and then get my two kids and two dogs out the door for at least an hour.  

By the end, I was resentful of every single phone call.  I knew I was just wasting my time and I wanted these strangers to get the f*ck out of my house.  

Jack's colic was probably one of the most stressful times of my life.  This was worse.

We had one last "out" of our contract to build a new home so we pulled the plug and took the house off the market.

Fast forward to April 2014.  Inventory in the neighborhood was up and houses were flying off the market.  The idea of making a good profit on something we had owned for less than two years was very tempting so the house went back on the market.  

Three weeks and 20+ showings later, we finally had an offer!  After a little negotiating we had a deal and a good deal.  But after 70+ showings and enough stress to push me over the edge (a few times), our good reasons to move became blurred in both of our minds.  

Over the next few months we looked for a new home but all of cookie-cutter-crap for sale in our desired neighborhood wasn't the right fit.  Which lead us back to building.  Our original builder was going to take over two years so we went with our second option.  

Our new home would be done in 9 months and in the meantime we would need to find temporary housing.  So I began the process of packing up our house, deciding what would fit into a two bedroom, 947 sq ft apartment and what we could go 9 or so months without.  You know, cause life wasn't already stressful enough.

We were fortunate enough to be able to store the vast marjority of our belongings at J's warehouse for free.  So every night for two weeks, J would bring a van home from work, we wold load it up after the boys were down, he'd unpack it the next day and repeat.  

We left our home for the last time on July 16, 2014.  A new chapter was beginning and we both cried as we drove away.  

                                           

Funny when I look back now, the stress of this time was like childbirth.  You remember that it was a horribly painful experience but it's become dull with time.  Looking through pictures of this period it's happy memories like the ones below that make me think "shit I could totally do that again!" 

Just like childbirth!

Lindsey 

Hello, Hello

Is there anybody out there?

Besides my amazingly articulate BFF, does anybody blog anymore...or read blogs?  I kind of hope not.  I have found that the older I get, I become less and less inclined to share my life with the outside world.  However, I have always found writing to be very cathartic and I have often thought about returning to my blog since I stepped away a few years ago.

There has been one recent development in my life that has encouraged me to get back at it but I'll save that topic for later.

Since my last post in 2015, I have a few unpublished posts which I feel are pertinent to our journey leading to present day. So, to remember the years gone by, I am going to go back and clean up those posts and publish them before I move on to where we are today.

(In the meantime, this is life at this very second!)

Lindsey

Happy birthday Leo!

Okay, okay yes he's almost 17 months now but doesn't mean I love him any less :) This is dedicated to my sweet boy, Leo Robert, and all of the things he has done and accomplished over the last 6 months or so.

For Leo's first birthday we went to Florida with my mom and Gram.  Leo was born 89 years and one day after my Gram so it was an amazing moment in MY life to celebrate my grandmother's 90th birthday AND my son's first birthday.  Especially in a place that means so much to me.  Oh yeah and I turned 31 a few days before :|  Seriously, where does the time go?!

So here are a few of Leo's quirks at age one:

*His favorite toy is any ball.  He loves playing "catch" and he has an amazing arm!  At 17 months, this is STILL true.  When we go to the gym, the ladies at kid watch know to take Leo straight to the balls to play!
* He has such a cute sense of humor.  When we are laying on the floor playing, he will crawl over to me, PULL UP my shirt so he can blow raspberries on my belly!  Where he picked this up, I have no idea but he thinks it's hilarious...and so do we!

* At one year he had 5 teeth.  Now at 17 months, he's up to 8.  The bottom cracks me up...he has the front two and two molars!
* Super picky eater which is super annoying AND probably why he's a shrimp...weighing in at 17lbs 13 oz at one year!

* A little before a year he busted out his first "word" daaaaa.  Which could be interrupted as 'Dad' or 'dog' depending on who's in the room.  Months later, he finally gave me a 'mama' (which can also be confused with 'more' depending on the circumstances) and Jack is 'Ack'.  Most frequently used work is 'ball'.
* He has THE most expressive eyebrows.
* I finally got my snuggly baby!  Sometimes while sitting on the floor, he will crawl over, lay his head on my lap, roll over and smile up at me.  Absolutely.Melts.My.HEART.

On Saturday, December 13, Leo decided it was time to start walking!  It was a Saturday morning and J had gotten up with the boys.  He woke me a short time later by showing me a video of Leo sitting in the middle of the floor, standing up and taking a few steps.  In absolute shock I ran down stairs and for the next 10 minutes with a look of determination Leo stood, stepped, fell and repeated.  It was amazing!  A mere two weeks later, he gave up crawling and became an amazing little walker :)

We spent Christmas in Illinois for the first time since 2009 and Leo was such an amazing traveler (however he needs a little work on the airplane).  He was charming and adapted to new surroundings really well.  He was a little overwhelmend with all of the people at times but he would just crawl over and seat himself in my lap and enjoy the show.   I think his favorite gifts were a ball (kid loves balls!) and an elephant ride/push toy.

I've said it before and it continues to amaze me but Jack and Leo are SO different.  Jack is my little maniac who challenges me every step of the way.  While Leo, is so relaxed and good natured.  He's very go with the flow and adapts well in new environments.  Once we wised up and just gave him a bottle in his crib at bedtime he's been sleeping like a champ (7pm-7/8ish am).  He is very social and doesn't have a fear of new people, especially men.






We went to visit J at work.  I was holding Leo and we were talking to a group of women.  One of J's male co-works walked into the room and Leo instantly reached his arms out.  The man wasn't really a baby person but he obliged and Leo sat happily in the stranger's arms.

Both times I have become 'mommy', my first instinct was to protect my babies and then I learned to love.  I loved because this little person was a part of me.  But over time their personalities emerge and I fall in love all over and for new reasons.  It's such a wonderful part of being a mother.

While I wouldn't change a thing about Jack's strong personality, having Leo's sweet and calm dispostion is like a breath of fresh air and gives good balance to our home.

This may be my favorite picture of Jack and Leo for 2014.  It's slightly deranged (completely NOT posed, totally reminds me of an early episode of Weeds) but perfectly captures this dynamic of brothers.  

Happy belated birthday, sweet boy!
I love you,
Mom