Thursday, May 8, 2014

Leo 5 Months

(Written in early March.)

We have a routine!  God, I love it when we have a routine.

Everything about Leo's first few months of life reminded me of Jack's and that was beyond frustrating.  I so desperately wanted to have a different experience with Leo, it was difficult for me to truly bond with him because I kept reliving all of the battles I had already fought.  I was more relaxed but I also felt more removed.   I was sleep deprived (he was up every two hours to nurse or less to fight with the damn paci) and incredibly stressed.  I was starting to pull away from those closest to me and retreat inwards.  Everyday was pure survival mood...

(Jack in the photo at 3 months, Leo at 4 months)

Around 3 1/2 months (right around the time we took the house off the market...that's a whole other post!) I was finally able to figure out Leo's schedule and mercifully his colic died down.  I was finally able to catch my breath. And over the past month, our little lion man is starting to distinguish himself and we are figuring out how to be a family of four.


The biggest victory we have had thus far....LEO IS SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!!


I am Leo's primary source of nourishment at this point but he generally has one bottle of formula a day.  We recently discovered by accident that he can polish off a 6-8 oz bottle easily (hard to gage when he's nursing) so we have been giving him a bottle at bedtime around 6:15 pm.  He wakes around 7:30-8ish to finish the bottle and then he's out until 6:15 am.  A few times he woken at 4:30 am to nurse but I can totally handle that!

I must say that it is an amazing feeling to have a baby, less than 5 months old, sleeping through the night.  Thank you, Leo!


Also in the past week, he has discovered his feet and had an all out laughing fit!  He has only rolled over a few of times and I think they were all by accident.  J is mildly concerned (I think because Jack was a freak of nature in the gross motor department- rolling both ways at 13 weeks, walking at 9 months!) and I just think he's lazy :)


We have had lot of visitor during the first three months of the year and Leo finally got to meet his Aunt Jen and cousins from Illinois.  It was great to finally have all of the grandkids together! 







Leo's thighs are ticklish, he loves chewing on fingers, loves being in the carrier,  he's not a great napper nor a huge fan of the car, his brother is very fascinating, my current nickname for him is "Mouth" and everyday I fall a little more madly in love with him.










 (Leo at 5 months)



 Lindsey






Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Good morning, son.

I was a little nervous about the whole labor and delivery process.  My first experience in this department had been a long and slow journey and I was fearful that my body just didn't know how to dilate on its own and that a c section would probably be in my future.  I had an appointment on Tuesday, Oct 1 and I was not dilated nor effaced. I totally assumed he was going to be late (because why wouldn't he be!)...boy was I wrong!


The newest man in my life decided to grace us with his presence (and end his mommy's suffering) a week early!  I have to thank my son for this small gift because I was absolutely miserable the last few weeks. I was seeing my SIL/chiropractor twice a week because my sciatic was bringing me to tears.   I was so over talking about pregnancy and I was running out of witty responses when people asked me how I was feeling.  Overall I was incredibly uncomfortable and starting to get crabby.



Monday, October 7, I got up to use the bathroom around 1:30 am.  When I got back in bed I started to have contractions.  I assumed it was false labor contractions because they felt like mestral cramps but this time I was having pain in my back as well.  After a few contractions,  I started to roughly time them…8, 8, 7, 6, 5, 5 minutes apart.  Again, I figured false labor because they weren't consistent.  So around 3:00 am I decided to go upstairs and bounce on the birthing ball to see if I could get them to stop.  Thirty minutes into the latest episode of Grey's Anatomy the contractions were 3 minute 45 seconds apart and lasting about a minute.  I started pacing the living room and at 3:30 am I felt/heard a pop, like a knuckle being cracked.  A few seconds later it became very clear that my water had broken.  I stood in shock for a second (I didn't experience this the first time!) and then rushed downstairs.

From the bathroom, I shouted to J and he groggily came running into the bathroom with a very confused look on his face. The plan was to labor at home as long as possible.  Again, the process with Jack was extremely slow so even though the contractions were coming steadily I felt very calm.  Since we had plenty of time before we would need to leave,  I casually hopped in the shower.  However, towards the end of my relaxing showing the pain from the contractions really started to intensify and I had to stop and brace myself to breath through them.

By 4:00ish am I was out of the shower and a down on all fours on the bathroom floor.  I remember J teasing me by asking if I was having an orgasimic birth (if you don't know what this is google it)…he should be a comdian.  My contractions were about 2 minutes apart and lasting about 90 seconds.  By 4:15 am I was telling J that we needed to get to the hospital…NOW!   I think he thought I was just being a pansy but he ran next door to wake our neighbors who had so graciously agreed to watch Jack if we were in a pinch.

We got to the hospital a little after 5:00 am.  I went from kneeling and leaning over the back of the car seat to the exact same position in a wheelchair.  I'm sure I was sight!  I remember the nurse saying "Well I've never seen anyone sit in a wheelchair like this!  Just please, please don't lean back."

The contaractions were coming fast and hard and they asked if I could make it upstairs or if I needed to stay in the ER to deliever.  I begged them to take me upstair and get me an epidural ASAP.

When I got to the room I kept asking for the epidural but they said the needed to get an IV in first and would need to check my dialation based on how close the contractions were coming.  I was at 6 cm.  I was shocked.

While waiting for the anastesologist, my body began pushing on its own (extremely strange sensation by the way!) and I remember thinking to myself "Don't say anything!  They'll never know!  You have to get that epidural, there's no way you can do this without." I kept my mouth shut but my strained face and grunting noises gave me away to the nurses and I remember hearing them say "She's not going to have time for the epidural.  She's pushing already."  Then I really started to get nervous and kept asking "Where the f@ck is he at?!?"

SHE finally arrived!  They checked me again, I was at 7 cm and they told me it was probably to late for the epidural.   I was very insistant that there was plenty of time and I would be able to sit still for the procedure.  My body continued to push during the contractions but my midwife was able to get me to breath through the contractions and focus and they were able to get the epidural in.  When I laid back down they checked me again and I was at 10 cm.

At the next contraction I began helping my body to push.  After four contractions, his head was out and his body with the next.

Baby _____ came into our lives at 6:21 am (this is what the announcement text read).  Leo remained nameless for about 6 hours!  Leo had been my favorite.  Jude had been J's favorite.  And the week before we agreed on Colin.  But at the time he was born we were back to undecided.  J looked at him after he was born and said "You know, he does kind of look like a Leo."

We found out later the epidural proceedure was finished at 6:04 am and 17 minutes later he was out.  Justin won't give me credit for a "drug free" delivery but trust me when I tell you that I felt everything.  Birth with an epidural doesn't hurt...this hurt!


I couldn't have asked for a better experience, it made me feel like Superwoman!  Never in my life would I have guessed it would have gone so quickly...I am beyond thankful for that!  If I were to do it again I would definitely go without an epidural...especially if you could promise me another five hour labor and delivery!  J got off really easy this time around!

















The sun rose at 7:02 am that morning.  By this time all of the chaos had died down and everyone had left the room.  We were watching the sun rise and starting a new day with our son, the lyrics "good morning, son" kept playing in my head.  I asked J to play the song and as the music played I watched my husband hold our son and I felt incredibly at peace.








\

Lindsey (mama of TWO!)


















Tuesday, January 7, 2014

He's here!

He's here! He's here! He's here!

Ok, actually as of today, he's been here exactly three months!

Leo Robert Voigts rocked our world on October 7, 2013!!!  After a speedy five hour labor and delivery (that story will be shared in a future post) Leo was born at 6:21 am, weighing in at 7 lbs 15.8 oz (if he hadn't pooped on the way out I would have been able to claim an 8 pounder ;)) and a mere 18.5 inches long.

*Leo Robert*

I'm a terrible mommy blogger but honestly the last three months have been a roller coaster and it's only been in the last week that a) we have started to get on a nighttime schedule thus giving me a free hour and b) the colic has began to subside.  Yes you read that right...colic =(.  Because it was so much fun the first time around, the universe decided that we should be challenged with a second colicky baby.

Jack's started at three weeks so when that week came and went and Leo didn't show any signs we breathed a huge sigh of relief.  At five weeks, Leo let us know we weren't going to get off so easily.  For the next seven weeks, he would start to get fussy at either 4:30 pm or 6:00 pm and go until 9:00 pm.  Unlike Jack who would scream for two hours straight, Leo was off and on inconsolable screaming.  I don't know which was worse.

In addition to the colic, Leo looks and sounds exactly like Jack did at this age AND he is a terrible sleeper...just.like.Jack.  It's like I have given birth to the exact same baby twice.  It's weird.

(Name that baby?!?)

Part of me is ok with that because Jack is such an awesome boy but there is part of me that is mad/sad that we are fighting the exact same battles that we struggled with when Jack was a baby.  I keep telling Leo "Be better than your brother!  Aim higher!"

With the colic behind us, I am starting look into what steps we took to get Jack sleeping better.  I am SO happy that I kept good records of our journey in 2011 because there are so many things that I have forgotten about those early months of parenthood.

Life is slowly starting to take on a new normal so I really hope that I can get back blogging.  Posts may not be long or witty or nicely decorated with pictures...hell I'm guessing until I start to get some sleep they may not even be fully coherent BUT I am making a promise to myself that I will be better about putting our successes and our struggles into words here on A Day In The Life...

Lindsey

Thursday, September 5, 2013

34 Weeks

Almost every morning I think to myself "I need to get a blog done today!" but by the end of the day my mind is complete mush and all of my brillant thoughts have disappeared.  So I apologize to my still-unamed-unborn son for not being as diligent as I was with your brother's pregnancy blog.  On the flip side, let's be honest here, I will have two SONS they will probably never even read this blog!


(Jack left- BV2 Right.  Even though I feel huge I'm about the same, just lower.)

So it's been about 8 weeks since my last update and my body is no longer even remotely my own.  I started to get uncomfortable around 30 weeks.  I have been sleeping fairly well (on the nights that Jack sleeps well) but there is definitely a "science" to getting my pillows perfectly positioned.  My heartburn was terrible up until about 30 weeks and I was having a lot of pain in my ribs and sternum but he has since dropped.  Being so low in my pelvis has caused a lot pain in my pubic bone and hips.  Walking long distances is out as is sitting for too long as my sciatic nerve acts up frequently and my once sexy swagger has been replaced by very distinct waddle.  Anytime I change postions I have to pee .  And I have continued to have terrible shortness of breath and dizziness.

On the upside, slow and steady has been the motto in the weight gain department as I am sitting at +18lbs, my skin has never looked better and (while my husband may disagree) my hormones have been pretty even keeled thus far.  Don't get me wrong napping is a beautiful thing but I am REALLY looking forward to the day when I can make it through the day without laying down.  Ah the 3rd trimester exhaustion….

On a side note, I have had the strangest craving during my 3rd trimester….dairy.  I could count on one hand how many times in the last 15 years I have a had a glass of milk.  Nowdays, every morning the first thing I do is drink a huge glass of chocolate milk…ahhh it's so good!  And once or twice a day I will indulge in a bowl or Breyer's Vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce on top.  Again, I don't think I have ever bought a tub of ice cream unless I was serving it with a dessert for guest.  Cannot get enough dairy!

I FINALLY got the nursery painted!!! And over Labor Day weekend I was able paint and distress the dresser.  This week J will have to seal it and put on the hardware and then we are ready for baby clothes!

We had a little slap of reality yesterday.  Around 2 pm I started to feel strange. I was having a lot of pressure, cramping and contractions coming ever 10 minutes.  I laid down for a few hours and drank some water, thinking I had just over done it.  If anything I became more uncomfortable.  So we went for a nice long walk and fortunately on the way home I started to feel back to normal.  But J and I were a little freaked out for a few hours.  Now I am definitely sensing some urgency to get all loose ends tied up!  This boy will be here in no time…


Lindsey

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Bracing For Impact

A girlfriend of mine commented on my last blog post.  She stated that she was sad I wasn't loving pregnancy they way I did with Jack.  Her words made me a little sad and mad at myself.  I am, by nature, pessimistic and sarcastic (not nesccessarily a winning pair of attributes) but her words made me stop and think "Am I putting to much bad juju out into the world?"

My blog, to me, is my outlet.  In life I have a tendency to over share and often forget to put on my filter (again not my most appreciated traits) and the words I share on this blog are no different.  Good, bad or otherwise I let it all hang out…well most of it, some things should remain tucked away in the privacy of my own snarky brain ;)

My instant reaction to her comment was "I'm not NOT loving this pregnancy."  Knock on wood, it's actually been super easy and I actually think my pregnant self is beautiful.  Then I dove deeper into my emotions and realized that I'm not letting myself enjoy being pregnant with BV2.  Why?  Confession time…I. Am. Scared. Shitless.

I am and have been suppressing the reality of our situation almost since day one, even though we made a very conscience decision to get pregnant.  After the initial excitement of finding out we were having another baby had faded, I started to remember how hard it was with Jack.  Eight weeks of a dreadfully colicky baby.  Months and months and months of practically no sleep.  The breakdown of communication and teamwork in my marriage.  I'm crying just thinking of this extremely stressful and trying time.

Life is full of ups and downs but this period was particularly hard for me.  And I am terrified of having to go through it again.  How do I deal with the stress of a newborn while having a very active and strong willed 2 year old?   Everyone says the second time around will be different but I'm not going to place all of my eggs in that basket just yet.  This would be the pessimistic side of me…I feel like I am bracing for impact, mentally preparing for the worst.  And that is the ugly truth.

url.jpgOdds are this will likely be our last baby therefore my last pregnancy.  This chapter of my life is quickly coming to a close...makes you realize how fleeting life is.  So I know that I should be over the moon about welcoming our new son into our lives but my fear is getting the best of me.

However, I see that it is time for a change of attitude.  Yes, this is going to be hard, I have to accept that BUT we have something new on our side this time around….experience!!!  We found our way to the other side once before, I have to have faith we can do it again.

Lindsey

Monday, July 15, 2013

26 Weeks

(Ok I'm a week behind publishing because yesterday I actually hit 27 weeks, hello 3rd trimester!!!  #lifegetsintheway)

26 weeks and I have accomplished…nothing.  I stopped reading the "baby books" about 10+ weeks ago.  Birthing classes and birth plans, eh whatever will be will be.  The nursery is currently without a dresser, a chewed up crib I was going to fix and has basically become a catchall for random crap.  And baby boy is nameless with no possibilities in sight.

But every week I can feel him getting bigger and bigger.  Gentle nudges are now strong punches and the occasional hand/foot/knee/elbow can be felt sharply pressing against my hand (kind of creeps me out BTW).  He got the hiccups for the first time last night at 4 am.  At first I thought "Awe! I remember when Jack did this!" but 10 minutes later I was just annoyed that it was keeping me awake.

He's in there and he keeps reminding me throughout the day and night and it's a good thing because I would probably forget otherwise!

It just amazes me how the second time around is SO much different than the first.  Overall the bodily experience has been very similar to my pregnancy with Jack.  Heartburn, shortness of breath, hair loss, craving sweets but this time I am so much more tired.  Guessing it has something to do with the two year old I'm chasing around everyday.  But I rest when he naps and life is good.  Other than that, completely different experience.  The excitement of the unknown is lost after the first one.

I've given myself until 31 weeks to remain oblivious to this pregnancy.  At that point the hectic schedule of summer will be dying down and it is go-time for nesting.

So here are the highlight of 26 weeks:
*  Sleeping sucks.  As I tossed and turned the other night J looked at me and said "You always look so uncomfortable." Ya think!  I miss sleeping on my stomach and not having to need a halo of pillows around me.
*  Frequent urination.  This has actually not been a problem until recently.  Last night I got up 3 times :(
*  Dizziness, shortness of breath and dehydration.
*  Up 9lbs…yay.
* Restless leg
* Lots of Braxton Hicks contractions

I know from this point on the one thing I will struggle with the most is that fact that I am now physically limited.  This is very frustrating for me.  The shortness of breath and dizziness (get this, occurs even when I'm just sitting down!) make me feel helpless.  And picking Jack up is really getting difficult, thankfully he's a small fry or else it would be completely out of the question.

I really can't complain too much because I know that it could be so much worse.  I'm not "over" pregnancy yet but I see it looming on the horizon.

Lindsey



Saturday, June 15, 2013

22 Weeks Etc.

(This was written before the hospital incident.)

I have recovered from my melodramatics from my last blog.  Honestly, once I put my disappointment out there and allowed myself to be sad, I was able to start getting on board with my new BOY.  And yesterday, I saw two brothers playing together and I got really excited for the first time.

(Left Jack-Right BV2)

I am 22 weeks (almost 23 now) and over the half way hump! We are cruising right along and I told J the other day that October is going to be here in no time.  Now that I am well past the first trimester and have had time to adjust to the changes of pregnancy, I must admit that I am enjoying pregnancy glow.  However, yesterday I had to buy a new bra and was a little shocked (and annoyed) by my new assets!


(Pardon Mr. Crabby Pants, couldn't even bribe a smile out of him.)

I'm up about 5 lbs, starting to look and feel pregnant but I'm still getting around pretty well.  I've been slightly annoyed because my clothing options are very limited (maternity wear is pretty awful) and it kills me to spend money on maternity clothes.  It was much easier to dress up the bump with a winter pregnancy!  Little brother is moving around like crazy and J was finally able to feel him last week :)

Jack's first year of montessori school came to an end in May.  It was sad to say good bye to his teachers and friends however he will be in the same class in the fall but with many new kids.  The exciting part is he will be one of the older kids in class which I think is going to help him be an awesome big brother (FYI- Montessori schools group kids in varying age groups.  He is in the toddler class which is from 18 mths to 3 yrs and next winter he will move up to the primary class which is 3 to 6 yrs.)




This week, we celebrated our one year anniversary in our new home.  Fastest. Year. Ever.  It was one of the most positive decisions that J and I have ever made and every time I drive down the gorgeous, tree lined parkway I smile.  We both are amazed by how much the move from the suburbs to the city has improved our attitudes.  This is exactly where we are suppose to be.

A few weeks ago, we got together with J's brother and family and took the kids on a train ride up in Georgetown.  Little boys LOVED choo choos!

(Talking about "choo choos")





 (Cousins- Jack and Henry aka "Huge cheese-balls!")

And in order to keep ourselves busy this summer, I have signed Jack up for a music class and a Saturday morning soccer class.  Soccer started last weekend and while it's not really "soccer" (let's face it, 2 year olds don't really understand the concept of offense and defense!) it was adorable to watch…and they get to wear uniforms!  It was an interesting glimpse into my future as I'm sure our boys will be some kind of athletes and it sounds silly but it made me feel so old….WOW I'm a Mom ;)
(It's official…I'm a soccer mom!)


Lindsey