16 Weeks and a "Babymoon"

Justin and I went on a babymoon last week to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.  We stayed at an all inclusive, adults only resort and really didn't do much beside sit by the pool, eat and sleep.  It was exactly what we both needed.  At first I had a hard time just sitting still.  I'm so used making sure Jack's needs are being taken care of that it was odd to just think about myself for a few days and just be still.

(Our daily view from the pool.)

(The hotel.)

(Me and my boo.)

Before we had Jack, I told J that we needed to promise that once a year we would take some time to go somewhere just the two of us.  We both realized that with the new baby on the way, this would be our last opportunity for quite a while.  It was great to just be Justin and Lindsey again for a few days.

Upon arriving back home, I receive the BEST welcome from Jack.  As we left the airport, I carried him back to the car and he giggled the whole way and kept wrapping his arms around my neck, giving me big hugs.  My battery has been recharged and I am ready to tackle motherhood once again!

I have to give a HUGE shout out and thank you to my dad (aka Opa).  He came to Colorado and watched Jack for the first time all by himself.  Honestly this is the first time in my Dad's life that he has watched a toddler by himself for any amount of time!  He did AWESOME!  I was never worried about Jack's safety or happiness but more worried for Opa because taking care of Jack one on one is a huge undertaking.  Long days and endless amounts of patience but in the end Jack was happy as a clam and Opa ended the week a little wiser and ready to go home :).  Thanks again, Dad, I am immensely proud of you!

Our trip allowed for a little over indulgence in the food department and I have officially started to put on the pregnancy pounds, up 2 lbs.  My hair loss is slowing down but I'm starting to get nauseous towards the end of every day and my old friend "heart burn"has come back (I don't expect him to depart for another 20+ weeks).  Other than that, keep me fed frequently and I'm a happy camper.  At the 16 week midwives appointment BV2 had a very strong heartbeat of 155 and we can have our appointment to find out gender in the next 2-3 weeks…YAY!!!!

It sounds crazy to me and, while not out of the realm of possibility, it is still early but I swear I felt the little bean moving yesterday.  Pregnancy puts me pretty in-tune with my body and what I felt was not a typical gas bubble or digestion.  I hope it continues, it was my favorite part of pregnancy before and such a great way to connect with the life I'm growing.

(Rockin' the bikini at 16 weeks and damn proud of it ;))

Lindsey

14 Weeks

I am 14 week pregnant today and I feel like I am falling apart, physically falling apart.  I was going down to bed last night, I completely missed the last step and came down hard on my left ankle.  As I laid on the floor in a fetal position, trying not to pass out from the pain, I was convinced I had broken something.  I finally let J carry me to bed and spent the next 45 minutes contemplating going to the hospital.  Since it was 11 pm and we were limited on options for childcare, I wiggled my toes and decided I would live to see another day.

Today my foot and ankle are swollen and very sore and I am hobbling around like a three legged dog.  I am a mother of a two years old, I do not have time to be crippled!  In retrospect, I am thankful that nothing seems to be broken and based on WebMD it's just a sprain.

Jack came home with a cold and nasty cough after school this week and since we share kisses, food and drink, as of 5 pm tonight he has shared his cold with me too (again).  My hair won't stop falling out AND it is April 16 and we have 9 inches of snow on the ground.  Winter.will.not.end.

At 14 weeks my mood is less than perfection therefore this post shall be short and sweet a little bitter.

On a happy note, BV2 seems to be cooking well and the genetic testing came back a-okay.

( And here is the official Facebook announcement!)

Lindsey (aka "Crabby Mama Bear")

12 Weeks

The first trimester is quickly coming to a close!  Seems like just yesterday when we found out…the second time is going much quicker.  This mama is feeling much better these days!  Honestly, the worst of it seemed to stop around 9 weeks.  The all day nausea and soul crushing fatigue have pretty much disappeared and those were the symptoms making life particularly horrid.

Much to my delight, my skin has been so much better this time around and my boobs are back way earlier (sorry Dad!) but my hair is still falling out enough to make me cringe every time I pick up a brush.  I am up once a night to go to the bathroom even though I am constantly parched and even though I haven't put on any weight yet my appetite is back with a vengeance and I cannot get enough carbs!

(12 Weeks)

We had our 12 appointment today.  After a quick check in with the midwives, we headed over to the perinatal department to have the first trimester screening ultrasound.  I had a hard time sleeping last night because as I remember from the last time around, this was a big and fun appointment.  Second time around did not disappoint!

There was an intern helping with the u/s so we were able to spend some extra time watching the "bean".  The baby was SUPER cooperative (which was a far cry from Jack's 12 week scan!) and we were able to see so much movement.  It was INCREDIBLE!!!  Once again I was brought to tears and in absolute amazement that this tiny little person was growing so perfectly inside of me.

Today was extactly what I needed.  I have been having a hard time "getting into" this pregnancy.  But watching BV2 stretch and twist made it real…finally.  This experience is something to be savored because it is so fleeting and I'm happy to finally feel connected to the life I'm helping to create.

(Obviously, head on the right and legs with knees bent on left.)

(Looking down on the top of the head- arm and hand on left.)

(Another great profile shot!)

And here was the most amazing part of yesterday, getting to watch our baby dance around.  I could watch this over and over!  Enjoy :)

Lindsey

First Trimester Bliss

(This post is a wee bit past due but better late than never so that I can remember all of the joys of early pregnancy!)

Feb 2

Here we go again!  I'm pregnant!!!

This isn't my first rodeo and it isn't coming out of left field but man when you see that positive come back it is still a bit of a shock.  In all honesty I've had about 10 hours to absorb this life changing news and it isn't close to being reality for me.  It's something that I have to keep saying out loud in order to REMIND myself that…I'm pregnant!

I took a test 3 days too early and it came back "Not Pregnant" much to my disappointment.  But yesterday I missed my friend so I tried again and in less than 30 seconds life changed.

I think I'm shell shocked.  Don't get me wrong I am excited because we did make this choice for ourselves but I think at the root I am scared shitless which may be causing the numbness I am currently expriencing.  Tomorrow will be a new day…


Feb 11- 5 Weeks 1 Day

Once again, I am amazed by how quickly pregnancy symptoms appears.  My pregnancy with Jack was relatively easy so I keep reminding myself that this time around may be completely different.  However, some of the familiar symptoms have already reappeared.  The very first thing I noticed (a week before I got a positive test!) was hair loss.  It happened before and it's happening again…a really scary amount of hair loss.  My hair is my thing, so this is a tough pill to swallow.

Super human smelling abilities, a short temper and anxiety are also back.  New experiences (so far) include occasional metallic taste in my mouth and bacon now taste like fish which is EXTREMELY unfortunate because I love, love bacon.

Feb 15

Holy hotmess of hormones!  By nature I am a naturally an easy cryer but throw in some pregnancy hormones and look out!  The smallest amount of sappiness in any situation will send me over the edge. However, today an unruly toddler is pushing me to my breaking point (and actually has been for about a week now).

Today I feel like I'm drowning.  Reeling myself in after I lose my shit, I remind myself "Take a deep breathe, remove yourself from the situation."  But holy crap, this kid is testing my very last ounce of patience.

Once my blood pressure returns to normal, I then feel guilty for yelling or sending him to timeout.  Constantly reminding myself that I am a horrible mother.

Bring on the tears again.  Damn, it's only 3:30.  I quit for the day :(

March 5- 8 Weeks 2 Days (1st appointment with midwives)


We had our first appointment with the midwives yesterday and by chance we met with Jen, she delieverd Jack and was alway my favorite of the three.  She was just as wonderful as I remember and made me feel very at home.

We talked, did a quick exam, took some blood and then we got to see the "Bean".  Seeing the little heart flutter started to make it real for me.  I was like "Hmmm there really is a baby in there (and thankfully only one!)"  While we were doing the U/S, J showed me a picture of Jack and I said "That is why we are doing this again!  Because the first one is so awesome."

And that is so very true.  While it hasn't been all sunshine and giggles, that's just life…nothing worthwhile in life is ever just easy.  But when Jack walks into a room and says "Hi Mama!!!" or "Lovvvve You" I have to remind myself THAT is why we decided to have another baby.

(The "bean" is the tiny blob in the middle of the black oval.)

Lindsey

Choo Choo Jack Is Two

Jack turned two on March 8!  It was a Friday and had a low key day because we had a big party scheduled for the next day.  As we watched the weather on Friday night, we decided it would be best to reschedule his party.  The forecast was calling for 8-14 inches of snow and a blizzard warning during the time of his party.  I was SO disappointed but felt it was best that we try for a better weekend.  Luckily at this age I just didn't mention it again and he totally forgot about the party.  The amazing 10 inch Thomas the Train cake went to work with J on Monday :(.

The "blizzard" turned out to be a major dud and the snow didn't even sick to the pavement.  I was less than thrilled.

Birthday party take two was scheduled for March 23.  And guess what…..ANOTHER snow storm in the forecast.  Come hell or a foot of snow this party was going to happen!  I was not wasting another cake nor the homemade Thomas the Train coloring books so I decided to have the party.  Most people didn't make it but a few of my good girlfriends whom I've know since I was pregnant with Jack, the Kamis klan and the Voigts family braved the storm.  It turned out to be perfect and I'm so grateful to those came to celebrate.

I'm noticing a pattern in my motherhood…it's really important to me to celebrate the day of my child's birth.  As I was assembling the homemade Thomas the Train coloring books for Jack's "friends" I wondered why exactly am I doing this?!? For the second year in a row (granted only my second years as a parent) I was making a big deal of his birthday.  I scoured the internet for the perfect ideas.  It took me days to finally decide what his cake is going to look like (this year I opted to BUY the perfect cake).  I stressed and had crazy dreams about trains and my car being stolen and not being able to make it to his party (don't ask)!

(Jack and his "girlfriend" Sydney!)

 (At one point they went off into this area by themselves and just hung out together, so cute!)

(Grandma and all her grandkids.)

(Jack was not cooperating for a family photo.)

However, as I was trimming the border of Thomas who graced the cover of the glorious coloring books, I realized why…because this is the kind of mother I WANT to be to my son.  I want to make this day, he will never remember, special because he deserves to have homemade Thomas the Train coloring books and the perfect cake.  In the grand scheme of life, I am aware that I only get so many birthdays to celebrate with him and I want to make great memories of the ones I am able to be a part of.

So happy birthday, Jack!  In two short years you have rocked our world and at the end of every single day (whether the best of days or the worst) I am grateful to have you as my son.  Thank you for being you, buddy.  I love you!

Mama

(Mimi got Jack a battery operated ATV for his birthday and it was a big hit!)

"No! Why?!?"

Here are a few sample conversations I've been having with my two year old over the last few days (repeatedly):

Me- "Jack, please turn off your engine."
Jack- "No! Why?!"

Me- "Jack, we don't kick Stelly!  You need to apologize and give her a hug right now!"
Jack- "No! Why?!"

Me- "We do not throw things."
Jack- "No! Why?"

And he says it in this whiny voice…

(Oh and in the photo on the right, that is his pouty lip not his tongue.)

I knew that the "Why's" would start sooner or later but I was anticipating these really cute why questions like "Why is the sky blue?" or "Why is the elephants nose so long?"  Oh no no no how wrong I was!  Amazing how obstinate a toddler can be.

Also…whomever suggested that a nap can fix any mood is full of it!  The above picture outlines Jack's mood post nap.

However the tales of the "terrible two," spot on!

Ok, end of rant :)

Lindsey

B.V. 2 .0

I have really missed blogging.  Part of me has been feeling uninspired to write.  Another part of me sometimes feels like what I have to say is irrelevant.  But then I remembered WHY I started blogging…for myself.  So that I had these written memories of what is going on in our lives during an ever changing period.  And while I blabber on about random moments in my life, I hope that a few other people out there enjoy hearing about the occasional day in the life of me.

So what's new in our life….Well…We are expecting Baby V #2!!!

I am 10 weeks today (yay hopefully only 3 more weeks of feeling like crap!).  Now technically you shouldn't make the "official" public announcement until 13 weeks BUT I figure only about 9 people actually read this blog sooooo not that big of a deal!

Round 2 has been similar and yet so very different.  A lot of the symptoms I had with Jack have unfortunately reared their ugly heads again but other than that I feel so different.  It's taken a while for this one to sink in.  I figured after our first appointment at 8 weeks and getting to see the little bean, it would hit me…nope, life continues to march on and I have to remind myself that there is a baby in there!

I remember after I found out I was pregnant with Jack, I felt like a was this delicate flower that needed to be carefully tended to (HA).  I was anxiously reading the books (weeks in advance!), scouring the internet, planning a nursery, monitor all foods and products that came in contact with my body, overall stressing about every.little.thing.  This time around, eh, not so much.

The novelty is gone.  It's amazing, I've only done this once before but man do I feel like an old pro.  I'm cautiously waiting for something unexpected to throw a curveball at me just to get me to wake up.

So here we go again!  I'm REALLY going to try and not be a parent who documents every moment in the first child's life and the second only gets an honorable mention so back to blogging I go :)

Lindsey

(P.S. I have like 8 posts I've written the past in 3 months that I may be publishing so my timeline may be a bit out of order :))