No More Tears

And it only took 3 weeks!

Justin just called me to tell me that Jack did not cry at drop off this morning.  YAY!!!  The first two weeks, he would howl but this week it has progressively become less traumatizing (for Jack and Justin).  And today….no more tears!!!

Every morning this week, while Justin is carrying him out to the car, Jack would look back at me and say "bye bye" over and over.  Melt. My. Heart.

He's smart.  He knows where he's going.  And in the mornings when he says "bye bye" to me it makes me feel great because he's not scared.  He's ok leaving me.  In fact, Justin told me that he even seems excited heading to class.

Yesterday, I took Jack swimming.  He was playing with a ball in the shallows when a little girl (maybe 3) entered the pool.  He immediate waded over to her and gave her the ball…she wasn't interested but he persisted! My heart swelled with pride because 3 weeks ago he would have gone to this little girl, pushed her over, and swam away again with his ball.  Progress!!!

It was a hard and long discussed decision to put Jack in "school" but this week has totally reassured me that it was the right choice.  He is learning to play with peers.  He is learning that "Mommy and Daddy will come back."  He is learning independence.

I know there was talk behind closed doors as to whether or not our decision was a good one.  And this morning I can't help but mentally stick my tongue out at the naysayers ;)

 (Grill Master Jack ;-))

(The boy LOVES to clean…this makes Mama very happy!)

(Ah-ha! I got you to look AT the camera!!!)

Lindsey

"School"

Monday was Jack's first day of "school".  It's a very big bag of mixed emotions for me.  I KNOW in my heart that this is the right thing for him.  I am a believer in socializing children from a young age, I guess I'm just in shock that the time has come already for my baby.

He will be attending a Montessori school 3 days a week from 8 to noon.  It is more time than I initially wanted to have him in the program but it was the only space that was available.  This is a good thing, this is a good thing…my new mantra!

I had a bit of a meltdown the night before he started.  This person has been attached to me every single day (except for 4!) for the past 17 months.  It was going to be an adjustment for him AND me.  I was also feeling a guilty because I was really looking forward to having some time to myself.  (Side note: What is it about being a mom that make you feel guilty AT LEAST once a day?!)  I kept beating myself down by having the internal argument "You're a stay at home mom, this is your JOB!" "You're a bad Mom, buck up!"  "You are being selfish for needing (wanting) time for yourself."

Now that "school" has started and he seems to be doing good, I am getting better at telling that nasty part of myself to shut the hell up!  

He has been doing great, except for a few tears at drop off time.  The teachers have said that he is doing really well with the other kids (thanks goodness!  He has been having some problems with hitting) and he seems to be enjoying himself and when we left the class today he looked back at a little boy, waved and said "bye bye".

When I walked in today, he was busy playing so he didn't see me and when I finally got his attention he gave me the most wonderful, heart-melting greeting I have EVER received in my life.  His eyes instantly lit up, a huge smile graced his beautiful face, he jumped up and cried "Mama!"  He jumped into my lap, gave me a big, lingering hug and then gave me a kiss.  He just kept looking a me like I wasn't real and he was so happy to be in my arms.  I almost burst out crying right there on the floor.  One of my happiest mommy moments!

 Lindsey

And the Thunder Rolls...

It is our last night in Peakview :( & a BIG =)

In our final few days, as I have walked around, I have been very reminiscent.  Justin and I became parents, we lost our beloved Lucy,  we learned how to be married and we learned A LOT about being adults…the stakes went up while we resided at 18200 E Peakview Ave.  Which is probably why my strongest emotion throughout this process has been fear.  ARE WE MAKING THE RIGHT DECISION FOR OUR FAMILY…FOR JACK?!

I know, I know.  It's not like we are moving to Japan.  But we are making a pretty big change from our current environment.  However, tonight I feel the fear dissipate and excited anticipation take it's place.  The next few days are going to be very long and very stressful and more than likely a few tempers (mostly mine ;)) will flare up but in less than 48 hours we will (should) have the keys to our new journey!

Well it is time for me to head off to DIA to pick up Greg/Dad/Opa!  Wish us luck……..

P.S. I must add a little "Jack" to this post because IMO he's just too cute to not share!!!!

(Do not ask me HOW he got into this position and don't ask me HOW he got out!)

Lindsey

Changes In Latitude

After over a year of debate, we finally pulled the trigger.  Our house went on the market on Monday, April 16.  After 4 days and 10 showings, we had an offer.  And on Friday, April 20, we were under contract for full asking price!

We were NOT expecting it go that fast.  But I was thankful because for every showing, I had to make sure the house was spotless, pack up Jack and the dogs, and get out of the house for at least an hour.  By day 4, I was at my wits end.  Needless to say, we were ecstatic!

However, since we were not expecting the house to go so fast, we really hadn't been seriously looking for another house.  We had to accept that there was a very good possibility we would have to find short term housing.  But the stars alined, our financing kinks got worked out, and after a bit of hunting we found a great house in the Park Hill neighborhood in Denver.  By Friday, April 27, we were under contract!  That is a busy two weeks!

The decision to ditch the suburbs and move back to city life, is one that we have been talking about for quiet a while.  We were faced with a lot of questions and confusion from loved ones regarding our decision and in the end it became exhausting because we felt we were constantly trying to justify our choice.  Sometimes you just want to hear "That's great!  I am so happy/excited for you!" even if the person expressing the well wishes doesn't agree with or understand your decision.

We live in a great part of town and in a beautiful subdivision. A lovely, spacious home that has great schools. What more could we want? Why would we possibly want to leave?  It's a beautiful dream, it's just not OUR dream.

We moved to the suburbs prematurely. When it was time to buy a house I realized that you can get a LOT more house in the burbs for the same price as a small bungalow in the city. I lit the fire and J let it burn. We made the decision together but we realized over time that the suburban life isn't for us.

I'm scared. I'm nervous. I'm excited. I'm stressed. And I'm a little sad. We had a lot of big moments in our current house.  I can only hope that we are making the right decision for our family. It's a major change and it's going to take some adjusting. But at the same time I am very proud of us. We are taking a chance. We are going after something that we really want.  It's a new chapter and I'm excited to see what the future has in store for us…

J and I in front of our house for our first holiday.

Jack, making himself at home on the steps of his new house :)

Lindsey

Still Fight It

I have zero musical talent…can't sing, can't play….none, zero, zip. But that doesn't mean I don't appreciate, love, and respect all aspects of music. I am very much a believer that certain moments in life are defined by the song that was playing in the background.

J and I were sitting around tonight, after date night, listening to Ben Folds. J had me listen to a song that I have heard a hundred times before but TOTALLY misinterpreted until tonight. It's a song I have heard him sing before but never put two and two together. It's a song from a father to his son...

I saw the tears in his eyes as he sung it with meaning and it melted my heart. Another song to add to the soundtrack of our lives…(Ben Folds explains that the original video shot for this song sucked, so he and wife went out and shot the below video with their son….It made me cry.)



Ben Folds Five- Still Fighting It Lyrics

Good morning, son.
I am a bird
Wearing a brown polyester shirt
You want a coke?
Maybe some fries?
The roast beef combo's only $9.95
It's okay, you don't have to pay
I've got all the change

Everybody knows
It hurts to grow up
And everybody does
It's so weird to be back here
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
We're still fighting it, we're still fighting it
And you're so much like me
I'm sorry



Good morning, son
In twenty years from now
Maybe we'll both sit down and have a few beers
And I can tell you 'bout today
And how I picked you up and everything changed
It was pain
Sunny days and rain
I knew you'd feel the same things

Everybody knows
It sucks to grow up
And everybody does
It's so weird to be back here.
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
We're still fighting it, we're still fighting it
You'll try and try and one day you'll fly
Away from me

Good morning, son
I am a bird

It was pain
Sunny days and rain
I knew you'd feel the same things

Everybody knows
Tt hurts to grow up
And everybody does
It's so weird to be back here.
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
We're still fighting it, we're still fighting it
Oh, we're still fighting it, we're still fighting it

And you're so much like me
I'm sorry

Love you, Jack……Mom & Dad

Bon Voyage!

During the week of 3/18-3/25, we went on a cruise with my mom and grandma. Our stops included Half Moon Cay in the Bahamas, Curacao and Bonaire.

I can't remember the last time I went on vacation with my gram or mom so it was great that we were able to share the time and experience together. Unfortunately, it was a very difficult trip to have a one year old. At sea day activities were very limited and sleeping in the same room with Jack is a nightmare. He is a very light sleeper and my baby who normally sleeps through the night was replaced with one that awoke several times a night and even ended up in bed with us a few times. I think the next vacation will be an adults only trip ;)

A few of the highlights from our trip:
- I did my first open water scuba dive in Bonaire. It was AMAZING! J has been encourgaing me to get certified for a while and while it wasn't something I thought I would enjoy, I ended up loving it. I got down to 78 feet (!), froze my tush off and saw an amazing reef. Can't wait to do it again!
- I actually really enjoy playing Blackjack ;)
-Apparently you CAN get sea sick on a really big boat….but a little Xanax will clear that right up!
-Half Moon Cay had one of the most beautiful beaches I have ever seen.

And here are my favorite images from our trip:































Lindsey

Happy 1st Birthday Jack!!!

Jack's first birthday was AMAZING!!! We kept it small, just J's brother & family, Danielle & her kids, and my dad flew out. BUT all of our other loved ones were included via Skype. Welcome to the 21st century…How amazing!



I had been stressing about this "party" for weeks. I really wanted to keep it simple and absorbe and enjoy the moment but at the same time I had this need for it to be perfect. I scoured the internet for ideas and just plain stressed.

I found this really great idea for a "rainbow cake" on Pinterest and then I stressed over whether or not I should make the cake and frosting from scratch or box….good lord so many freaking decisions. Just like everythign else involved with parenting…what is the best decision for my kid?!

Well I opted for cake from a box and frosting made from scratch. I made a test cake a few weeks before because I do NOT bake. But when the day came to make the "real" cake, I changed my cake mix. BIG mistake! Apparently when you live at almost 6000 feet above sea level you really DO need to follow the high altitude instructions. Each colorful layer was super, super, SUPER moist and as soon as I tried to frost it the cake would just peel away. I was devastated.

I sent my dad out to buy a crappy store bought cake but my wonderful husband insisted we try to make the homemade cake work. This was such a special day and I just wanted everything to be flawless for Jack but J reminded me what the day was really about…it wasn't about the perfect rainbow cake, it was about love and celebration that we all made it through the first year. The resulting cake was not perfect or really even pretty BUT it was made with love.





Thank you J for your outstanding cake decorations! AND for not giving up on me or the rainbow cake ;). I love you.

Jack took one 45 minute nap all day so by the time the party rolled around he was absolutely exhausted. I was fearful he would completely meltdown and the day would be a wash but he totally rallied (with the aid of a LOT of sugar!) and it was wonderful.



Major lesson learned on this day: "Perfections is the enemy of completion." I would like to add that perfection can also be the enemy of enjoyment so let it go!

It was a bittersweet day and I was sad to see the first year end. But I woke up the next morning with a renewed excitement of the year to come, let the next chapter begin!







Lindsey