A Day In The Life...: #illinoisorbust

Fall 2016

Right before we left for our vacation in Savanah, we made a quick stop in Illinois to start looking for houses with my dad. At the end of the first day, after looking at almost 20 houses, our last stop was a tiny village called Indian Head Park. I fell in love with the neighborhood as soon as we drove in and when we stopped in front of the house on Thunderbird, I got out of the car and said "This is it." I was just overwhelmed and frustrated after a long day but I was right, that house turned out to be the one.

It had recently been completely remodeled by an investor and they did an amazing job. I couldn't have asked for anything more. We put an offer in on it the next day and after a bit of back and forth, it was ours.

When we closed a month later, the movers quickly unloaded the truck and I was left with the task of unpacking once again. The house was basically brand new and there wasn't anything I needed to change. But the big downfall was that we needed window treatments throughout the house and all of the closet were just empty spaces, not even a bar to hang clothes up. I began interviewing vendors immediately and window treatments and custom closets were ordered within the first few weeks.

It took a month to get the windows covered and a few more weeks to get the closets done. You don't realize how much shit you store in a closet until you have to live out of suitcases and boxes for 7 weeks! It was a very happy day for me when I could finally breakdown the eight wardrobe boxes that lined my bedroom walls.

Our family no longer lived in Colorado but J's job was still there. Three days after we moved in, he flew back to Colorado for the week to work. That was the hardest week on me. I was a so overwhelmed and by the end of the week I locked myself in the bathroom, laid on the floor and cried. I was alone in a completely unfamiliar place with my two wild boys and a three legged dog that desperately needed surgery for an ACL that tore two weeks before our move. Having the house in boxes and in utter chaos sent my stress and anxiety over the edge. And not having J to offer me some relief and adult interaction at the end of the day made me depleted and depressed.

J's cross country commute went on this way until October. He was either gone all or part of the week but he was gone every week. I felt terrible for him. He wasn't able to start to let go of Colorado because half of his life was still there. He isn't a man of many words when it comes to his emotions but I do genuially believe it is hard for him to be away from us and by the end of his limbo I think he was worn down and feeling isolated.

I realized during this time how much I rely on J. I spend a lot of time alone with our boys so I'm always "on" and keeping it together (the best I can) for them but when he is around I don't have to be so in control, I can let go. I know that I have someone that will be there for ME while I try to keep it together for everyone else. Our time spent apart during those few months really opened my eyes to this part of our relationship. And instead of building a wall of resentment as I would have in prior years of our marriage, we kept our lines of communication open. I know that we still have hard years ahead of us but in this brief time in our story I am proud of us for not falling into bad habits and be able to make it through a stressful blip together.

It felt like as soon as we arrived in Illinois, we didn't stop going until after the holidays.

Jack started Kindergarten in August! He was SO excited and made the transition effortlessly.

We discovered our neighborhood was a good mix of older couples who had been there 20+ years and raised their families and new, younger families had started to move in to replace the ones who were ready to downsize. The families we met were all very welcoming and I started a Bunco group for the ladies as a way to start building new friendships.

The first 4-5 months in Illinois absolutely flew by. Apparently, it was an unseasonably warm fall and we soaked up our new life as much as possible.

Family vacation to Florida over Thanksgiving...more on that later!

And our first Christmas season in Illinois. Opa joined us on the Polar Express to kick off the holiday week. We did the usual bouncing between the three families but it was nice to not have to fly back for it. We had our own car and after 3-4 days we were able to head back to our own home to decompress.