One day at a time...

It has been so long since I have written but everyday I think to myself I have so much to say about this time in my life and I just wish I had the time to sit down and write. It is 8:24 pm which means Jack is right in the middle of his "witching hour". Yep, we have one of "those" babies. I really didn't have any expectations of parenthood going into this and I knew in the back of my mind that there were going to be hard days….I just never imaged that there would be this many hard days.

As the days pass we are starting to see some patterns in Jack's behavior and I suppose you can say we are starting to get into a "routine". The hardest part of our day…from 7:30 pm to 9:00 pm. During this time Jack MUST be held. Not just held in a way that works for us, we MUST be standing while holding him and he MUST be held in a certain way (on our chest, facing outward, with an arm across his belly applying pressure).

Some days are better than others. For instances last night he didn't cry at all, he just wanted to be held and it was only 45 minutes before he fell asleep. And then you have tonight….where he started an hour early and he has been screaming practically nonstop. The frustrating part is that when he does stop crying for 2 minutes, you think it's over and then he suddenly starts screaming hysterically out of nowhere.

Call it gas. Call it colic. Call it karma…whatever it is, it is miserable and it is testing every ounce of patience and sanity within my soul.

And I think it is the same for Justin as well as myself. We know that he can't help it and we try everything we can to make him feel better but every night we all just hit a wall and the mental and physical exhaustion takes over.

A few days ago I had a breakdown and I just cried because I know that at some point this stage goes away (at least that's what everyone and every book tells me) but I just don't know how to get from point A (our current state of crying every night) to point B (approximately 6 weeks from now when this stage is supposed to stop). One day at a time….

All I want (all I need) is to have ONE night without the "witching hour" and one night where he sleeps more than an hour between feedings to recharge…..